Ah yes.Manby showground ,May 1994. My first moped race was a strange affair. Well it would be wouldn't it. I'd never heard of moped racing till one week before I went. My cousin John did the last race of the previous year,but he had to work because it was bank holiday weekend. No I couldn't figure that one out either! Any way me,my brother Stuart and mates Dave and Mark deceided as the bike race ready ,the four of us could stand the entrance money,so what could we lose? Although practice was on the saturday, we couldn't leave home untill at least 5 o'clock that night ,so we knew we going to miss practice but sod it, we knew we were good enough to just turn up and wipe the floor with the opposition.
We were running a bit late so we first saw the bike at about 8 o'clock that night. I had to remove the front wheel to get it in the Metro,but it fitted. Professional eh? So we had not seen the track, never ridden the bike, not tested the bike, and not had it scruteneered, and what did we do after pitching camp at midnight? We went for a piss up!!!! Let me tell you we had a BIG tent for the piss up that night,and I know because I raced my brother to the top of the tent, shinning up the poles. It was even funnier when some girl in a skirt did it. She'd forgotten she'd no knickers on!
Come the next morning, after aspirin and bacon, we went to see the nice scrutineering man. 'That front tyre is illegal',he said. Bugger. 'Never mind, I've packed a spare',quoth I. So we changed the wheel. Hmmm, doesn't seem to turn,and I like my wheel to turning. Bearings must have seized said some bright spark. 'OK borrow some tyre levers and we'll put this tyre on the other wheel'.So we changed the tyre over and........Bugger. 'Tyre must be rubbing on the mudguard' says I, so I used a screwdriver to egg out the bolt holes.Woo Hoo! So the bike passed with all of two minutes before the start of the race.So with visions of Ago and Doohan racing in my head,we line up for the start and glory!!Down goes the flag ,I run for the bike and push like buggery and......nothing.
After the rest of field had done around 4 laps,I figure the clutch is slipping because the cable was stiff after not being ridden for 7 months ,so we don't use the clutch, right guys. So I got to the first corner, applied the front brake and the wheel locked, the steering jammed and I had to carry the bike back to the pits. The egged front mudguard had stuck itself to the tyre, then the rear part had wedged itself to the cylinder head.'The weather's nice ,just rip it off, less weight too'. One mudgaurd less later, we were back on track.Dodging, diving, outbraking round the outside,up inside him, ha loser, next victim, err,what the f....oh, bugger ,ow. Tarmac hurts.
Since then,I've allways said that if you don't fall off occasionally, you're not going fast enough. And I fell off. And I fell off the next day too. Must have been going fast. Did I mention how small the track was? Well, the bike wouldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding, we couldn't get into fourth as the gearing was too high and we had no choice of sprockets, we had 'Square Runner Concrete Death' brand tyres and we were going round in 39 seconds with around 80 other machines around. Not a moments peace.
There were more fun and games with the bike.The gear change was rubbing on the side casing,so we had trouble changing gear. A slow rejig later,we were out racing again. A carburetter spring on the clutch lever gave us the clutch back.And soon the race was over. I can't remember if we came last or nearly last,but with all that practice, the problems ironed out, knowledge of the track(very good, very close knowledge in my case), nothing could possibly prevent complete victory in the second race. So after the barbie, we went for a piss up!!! We might not be able to out race anyone, but we could always blame the bike, however nobody would be allowed to out party us.
Big day part 2 was just the same as part one ,only this time,half way through the race, the gearbox deceided to pick two gears, and totally jammed so that was our race. Time to leave and plan what to do with this piece of s.... After all ,bones heals, and old mopeds never fade away, they just grow bigger expansion boxes and go even slower.
And there's allways another race.........